Why I stopped losing my scarves and started obsessing over bits of metal

I lost a vintage Liberty silk scarf at Victoria Station in November 2022 because I thought I was ‘above’ using a scarf ring. It was a damp Tuesday, I was rushing for the Gatwick Express, and I’d tied a loose, arrogant knot that I thought looked effortlessly Parisian. Somewhere between the ticket barrier and Platform 13, £210 worth of hand-rolled silk slipped off my neck and into the grey slush of a London winter. I didn’t even notice until I was halfway to East Croydon. I felt like a total idiot.

That was the turning point. I decided that if I was going to spend my hard-earned money on nice things, I wasn’t going to let them commit suicide on a railway platform. So, I went down a rabbit hole. I’ve spent the last eighteen months testing exactly 14 different rings, clips, and magnets I found across the UK. Some were from high-end boutiques in Mayfair, others were from random Etsy makers in Sheffield. Most of them are rubbish.

The magnetic clip lie

I used to think magnetic clips were the future. I was completely wrong. I bought a set of three ‘heavy-duty’ magnetic clasps from a seller on Amazon UK (I won’t name them, but they had 4.5 stars and were probably fake reviews). They promised to hold a heavy pashmina without damaging the fabric. What I mean is—actually, let me put it differently: they are a disaster waiting to happen.

The magnets are either so weak they slide off the moment you reach for your phone, or they’re so strong they snap together and pinch the silk fibers, leaving a permanent ‘bruise’ on the weave. I tried them with a medium-weight silk twill for a week. By Friday, the scarf looked like it had been in a fight with a stapler. If you care about your scarves, stay away from magnets.

Total waste of money.

The part where I sound like a snob

I know people will disagree with me here, but I absolutely cannot stand it when people use Pandora rings or cheap high-street costume jewelry as scarf rings. I’ve seen people suggest this on Pinterest like it’s a brilliant ‘life hack.’ It isn’t. Finger rings have sharp edges or internal hallmarks that snag. A proper scarf ring is polished on the inside to a degree that would make a diamond cutter blush. If it’s not smooth enough to rub against your eyelid, don’t put it on your silk.

I honestly think if you’re spending more than £60 on a piece of circular metal just because it has a designer logo on it, you’re being scammed.

I own an Hermès ‘Mors’ ring. It cost a ridiculous amount of money. Do you know what? It’s too heavy. It weighs 28 grams. That might not sound like much, but when it’s hanging off a 90cm silk square, it creates a weird pendulum effect that pulls the front of your shirt down. I’ve stopped wearing it. It’s a paperweight now. A very expensive, gold-plated paperweight.

Anyway, I was at this tiny craft fair in York last summer—I think it was near the Minster—and I found a guy selling hand-carved horn rings. They weigh about 12 grams. That is the sweet spot. They have enough friction to stay put but enough lightness to not ruin the drape. I bought four. I don’t even know the guy’s name, which is annoying for this blog, but look for ‘buffalo horn scarf rings’ on Etsy. Specifically, look for the ones shaped like a simple ‘O’ or a ‘D’ ring. Don’t get the ones with the butterfly wings or the fake rhinestones. They look tacky and they’re a nightmare to thread.

The only three you actually need

After my 18-month experiment, I’ve narrowed it down to three types that actually work in the UK climate (where you’re constantly taking layers on and off because the weather can’t make up its mind).

• The Classic Mother-of-Pearl Ring: Best for summer silks. It’s light and looks ‘old money’ without trying too hard. I got mine from a shop called The Scarf Gallery online.
• The MaiTai Collection Mother-of-Pearl: I know she’s based in France, but she ships to the UK and honestly, her stuff is the gold standard. I’ve used her medium honey ring for 412 days straight and it hasn’t failed me once.
• A simple 20mm brass ‘O’ ring: You can get these for about £5 from a leathercraft supplier. They are utilitarian, heavy enough for wool scarves, and they don’t look like you’re trying to prove you have a mortgage in Chelsea.

Using a scarf ring is basically a tiny, expensive bouncer for your neck. It keeps the riff-raff (the wind, the movement) from messing with your look. But you have to get the size right. A ring that’s too big is just a slide, and you’ll find it on the floor of the Tesco Express within twenty minutes. For a standard 90cm square, you want an internal diameter of about 2cm. No more, no less.

I might be wrong about the brass rings, though. Some people say the metal can react with perfume and leave green marks on the scarf. I haven’t seen it happen yet, but then again, I don’t spray my neck like I’m trying to mask the scent of a damp dog. If you’re a heavy perfume user, maybe stick to the horn or the pearl.

I still think about that Liberty scarf sometimes. It had these beautiful little peacocks on it. I saw a similar one on eBay last month for £150, but I didn’t buy it. It felt like trying to replace a dead pet. You just can’t. But at least now, with my weird collection of horn and brass circles, I know my current favourites aren’t going anywhere.

Is it weird to have a favorite piece of horn? Probably. I don’t care.

Buy the horn ones.